Weekend Thoughts: My Turn

In my last weekend thought post, I mentioned my desire to teach my children to live their life in full and not let fear keep them from enjoying life’s pleasures.  Ironically enough a week later I found myself having to choose between sitting on the sidelines or facing my fear.

15 years ago I got on a Gerris wheel with my friends.  It seemed harmless enough at the time.  But the combination of the height and the swaying car sent me into a full fledge panic.  I don’t recall much, other than screaming at the top of my lungs, pleading with the attendant as I passed him, begging him to make it stop and let me off. 

No such luck for me (or for my incredibly embarrassed friend who was stuck sitting next to me during my loud panic attack). 

Ever since, I have avoided Ferris Wheels with great success.

Until the county fair this year.  As the day for the fair approached my son starting talking about how much he was looking forward to the Ferris wheel.  (enter feeling of dread and despair in my stomach).   My initial response was, “No, we won’t be going on that b/c Dad won’t be with us.”

But then we got there.  And he never begged or whined.  But I saw him look up.  And the words of my post the week prior, ran through my mind.  

“I don’t want to miss out on the smiles and fun God has planned for us b/c of fear or stress of what we’ll loose.   I want us to fully enjoy the moments we’re in.”

And I knew that I had to do it.  In fact more than that, I wanted to do it.  My friend offered to take my kids with hers.  But, I wanted to push that fear down and enjoy the ride with my kids.  I didn’t want to let my fear keep me on the sideline while she got to enjoy the look of delight on their faces. 

So, I did it.  (with lots of pep talks to the kids about how we weren’t going to move AT ALL, AT ALL… we would sit very still the whole time… did you hear me STILL the WHOLE TIME!)  

At first I gripped the pole in the center and just started straight ahead silently willing my 2 year old not to move on my lap and praying the older two would sit still across from me. 

But, then I realized I was enjoying myself.  I didn’t feel sick or panicked.   And so I pulled out my camera. 

I am so glad I didn’t let my fear sideline me.  Not only did I get to enjoy the view from atop

but, more importantly, I got to enjoy the view with my kids as I got to enjoy watching them enjoy the view from atop. 

And that was, for me, the best part. 

Motherhood is a lot like that Ferris Wheel ride.  It pushes you do things you never thought possible, but in doing so, you get to experience the ride of your life.

**_What are you thinking about this week?_ _Why not use your last post of the week to highlight something a bit "deeper" then the average “Momblog” fair?  I’d love to read your thoughts.  Please feel free to write and link up a  “thoughtful” post below.  You can write a new post or link up one you wrote earlier in the week.  Please include a link back to here in your post. _**