Thoughts on Mothering

Lately I have found myself biting back tears and praying for wisdom as I work with my daughter on obedience and respect.  These battles leave me tired and stretched and yearning for some chocolate chip cookie dough and a bottle of coca cola classic.

One battle area for us has been over her having to wear her eye patch.  Seems the novelty has faded and she really doesn’t like wearing it.  I have told her that while I understand that and I know it stinks, no amount of kicking and screaming is going to make it untrue.   And yet she tests me.  Finally, about a week ago, I sent another of my SOS e-mails to my wonderful husband telling him, I was quite tired of this daily battle and I needed help.  He offered to take over the battle for me.  So each day before he leaves for work he has her get her patch and he puts in on her.

There hasn’t been a single fight over the patch since he took it over.

Until yesterday when somehow in the crazy morning rush, the patch didn’t get put on before he left.    When I had her get it for me, the battle resumed.  After much kicking and screaming, the patch was on and she was sent to her room where she proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs for a good 5 minutes while I sat outside her door praying.  When she came out we talked about her behavior and I asked her why it is that when Daddy puts her patch on she doesn’t scream but with me she argues and screams.

Her response?

“Well, I don’t get to spend as much time with Daddy as I do with you and I don’t want to waste that time screaming.”

I was shocked.

It was brutally honest and in a sorta twisted way, kinda sweet.

I then told her that even though she sees me more, she can’t treat me meanly and disrespectfully.  I explained that it wasn’t fair to me and it hurt my feelings. 

My daughter and I have had some great heart to hearts lately as we have discussed again and again  respect, self control, anger, patience, and not getting your way…  Some days by God’s grace, I have had the patience to wait out the storms and talk through the heart issues.  Some days I have relied on my own strength and snapped or yelled in frustration and exhaustion.  Both days I rely on God’s grace as I seek to parent my children.  I love my daughter.  I admire her compassion, her competitive drive, her hard work ethic, her easy going attitude and even her strong will.  I just pray that God would enable us to shape that will into one that glorifies Him with her life, and not break that will in the process.