Partners for Life

The relationship between siblings is a funny thing.  I once read a Times magazine article about siblings that really struck me.  It’s funny, 3 years later and I still remember this one line  “Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people we’ll ever know who truly qualify as partners for life.”

Being the mother of three children, I think a lot about the bonds of siblings.  It’s been my prayer since one became two that our children would form lifelong bonds of friendship.

 

 

Some days I wonder if that’s at all possible.  As I negotiate the tense battles of “who gets to use the letter spoon today” and “who gets out of the van first” and listen to them fight because “she’s too loud” or “I had it first” I wonder if they will grow up to be friends or enemies. 

And then my son will make a bracelet for his sister at VBS or my daughter will willingly give up her prized position of back seat to her little sister.  And I’ll realize that beneath the tormenting and manipulating, they do really love each other.

 

I especially liked this paragraph from the article. 

From the time they are born, our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They are our scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates, counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to; how to conduct friendships and when to walk away from them. Sisters teach brothers about the mysteries of girls; brothers teach sisters about the puzzle of boys. Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people we’ll ever know who truly qualify as partners for life. "Siblings," says family sociologist Katherine Conger of the University of California, Davis, "are with us for the whole journey."

I pray that through the journey, my children will see each other as more than just the person who shared their bedroom.  I pray that they will see each with more frequency than the holidays.  I pray that they will have genuine bonds of friendship between each of them that will last through the journey and beyond.