Numbers

It’s been ** 2 ** years since I began writing “Life At The Circus.”

** 2 ** years and 654 posts

2 years, can you believe it?  

I can’t.

When I look back at my first posts, I laugh at how much my life has changed… and how much it hasn’t. 

It’s the end of the month and I gotta tell you, my fridge looks pretty much exactly the same as it did here two years ago. 

And sorry to say, my gardening habits haven’t improved much either.  My plants are better off taking a dive off the back deck then testing their luck with me as their care taker. 

What has changed?

• Well, my kids have grown.  Goodness, sometimes you don’t realize it when you look at them day in and day out, but wow… have they grown over the past 2 years, or what?  This picture was taken 2 yrs ago this week…I think the girls demonstrate the most dramatic change of the 3.  

• And now we’re eagerly awaiting the arrival of the newest circus cast.  Folks, today marks 31 weeks!!  That’s right…** 9 ** weeks left till baby number four officially enters the circus. 
• My readers have increased.  It’s funny… those of you that blog, will I am sure be able to relate, but numbers are a funny thing.  Sad to say bloggers often find their worth and their purpose in numbers.. as in stat counters (of number of people that visit your site daily) or number of people who subscribe to your posts via some sort of reader, or probably the most important number to bloggers… the number of comments received.  This number gives a blogger great joy or great discouragement on any given day.  I am happy to say that since my debut, I now have more people reading my blog and commenting on a regular basis.  To those of you who took the time to not only read, but to respond via a comment over the past two years, THANK YOU!  You have no idea how your words have lifted my spirits and brightened my day. 

But, one thing I have learned over the past two years, is that I don’t blog for the numbers.  I am fairly certain Life At The Circus is not going to top the charts in the blogging world.  I will not be quitting my day job to publish a book and people aren’t flocking to me begging to pay for advertising space on my side bar.   In a lot of ways, I am just another mommy blogger sharing her life on the world wide web. 

So, why do I blog?  Why do I spend time almost daily writing my thoughts and anecdotes and posting them for others to see?  Why do I spend a precious portion of each days nap time visiting the blogs of people I’ve never met to read their thoughts and anecdotes and to respond by commenting? 

The short answer?  Because I enjoy it.

Those who have gone before me, have said these years are fleeting.  Look at how my family has changed in just 2 years.  It seems like just yesterday I had 3 under 3… now, I have 3 potty trained children!!  I know that when my kids are old and grown, I will not say, “Gosh, I wish I had spent more time scrubbing the bath tub when the kids were little… man looking back, it was really grimy and if only I could get those days back…”  So, as I capture the mess and the fun, the mundane and the silly of this stage of life,  blogging helps me to focus on the joys of each day, on the moments I want to savor and hold onto and treasure. 

I think so often the world sees Christians as being perfect or as having to appear to be perfect.  And it is my goal to present to you, the real deal, with no facades.  I hope that when you come to the circus, you see the real me.. in her Indian head dress tee shirt with her trashed van and her dusty screens.    And as you see me and my many imperfections, I hope you see that despite the fact that I do not have it all together, I am very, very content with my life.   In fact, truth be told, I love it!  I love the mess, the noise, the chaos, I love it all.  (Ok, truthfully, the mess does get under my skin and I have been known to snap at my kids to pick up their junk again before I throw those toys away)….  but I really do love my life at the circus.

Thank you dear readers, for sharing this journey with me.  Thank you for your words of encouragement.  Thanks for letting me know I am not alone in my struggles.  I am so thankful for those of you I have gotten to know through blogging… some are people I kind of know in real life, but whose friendship has deepened b/c you take the time to read and respond to my thoughts… some of you I never knew before blogging and now I count you as some of my dearest friends, some of you I knew “in a past life” and thanks to face book, we’ve stumbled across each other and our blogs and our friendships have reconnected, and some of you are dear family who stop by to catch a glimpse of your grand kids or great grand kids or nieces and nephew… each of you are precious to me. 

If you haven’t added me to your reader yet, what better way to say happy blogaversary, than by doing so now?